By:Manish Rai
Date:2025-03-28
Picture this: It’s 4 AM. The train halts at a deserted station, a cool breeze flows, the world is half asleep, and then… the moment of truth arrives. Your stomach signals
DEFCON 1, and the quest for a toilet begins. But lo and behold! The onboard bio-toilet looks like it survived a natural disaster, and the platform toilet? Either
locked, occupied, or nonexistent.
Now, the Indian Railways has a noble sign inside every coach:
"Do not use the toilet while the train is at the station." Very responsible! But what about human biology, dear Railways? Nature calls when it calls, not when the train decides to speed past a remote field in the middle of nowhere!
So, what are the options? Let’s analyze:
1.
The Braveheart Approach: Use the train toilet anyway, hoping that the authorities are not watching. (Risk Level: Medium. Also, moral guilt may apply.).
The Olympic Sprinter Strategy: Dash to the platform toilet, do your business in record time, and sprint back before the train leaves. (Risk Level: High. If you’re not Usain Bolt, you may end up waving at your own train.).
The Plastic Bag Escape Plan: Find a corner, do what needs to be done, and dispose of it discreetly. (Risk Level: Maximum. If RPF catches you, congratulations! You now own a ₹5000 fine.)
For centuries, railway passengers have been fighting this battle. There’s even a
biological clock conspiracy theory—why does the urge strike
precisely when the train stops at a station? Are our digestive systems linked to railway timetables? Who knows!
Jokes aside, there is a serious
social message here. The problem isn’t just individual behavior; it’s a failure of
infrastructure planning. Indian Railways carries
millions of passengers daily, yet
clean and accessible toilets remain a dream at most stations. Public sanitation is either inadequate or inconvenient, and passengers have little choice but to invent their own "solutions."So, what’s the way forward?
More functional, clean toilets at stations. Not just locked-up "showpieces" that never open.
Onboard maintenance of train toilets. If airplane toilets can stay clean on a long-haul flight, why not train toilets?
Proper waste disposal awareness.
No one wants to use open tracks. But sometimes, they’re left with no alternative.
A little empathy from authorities. If a passenger is caught in an emergency, instead of fines, how about ensuring they have access to hygienic facilities?
Until then, fellow travelers, may your stomachs be kind, your train halts be strategic, and may you never have to make life-changing toilet decisions at 4 AM. Safe travels!